Whole-Assing Prohibited

You gotta wonder where the term 'half-assed' came from. Before I explain what I found out in my research, let me first define this new phrase I've coined:

Whole-ass:  to bend over backwards to do something well; to put one's ass on the line; to try real real real hard. 

Folks, that's what I've spent my whole life doing! Whole-assing everything! And let me tell you, I'm exhausted!!!  In attempting to deal with my new promotion and prove to everyone (mostly myself) that I am capable and worthy, I've been busting my butt with very little pay-off. In bemoaning my frustrations to my dear friend who will remain anonymous... let's just call her Mrs. Waffles*, she encouraged me to accept good-enough instead of good in order to get by and save my sanity: translation - half-ass it all!

This concept was foreign to me, a perpetual over-achiever perfectionist type. Not do my best?! To not go above and beyond?!  To not have complete control over every single little thing?!!? THAT COULD LEAD TO TOTAL DISASTER!!! 

A change was absolutely necessary at this point.  I'd become so wrapped up in all of the things I needed to be doing that I was on my way to some very painful ulcers.  I tell you, day one of half-assing, and I already feel 100% better! It is incredibly enlightening to realize how skewed my expectations were before. There just aren't enough hours in the day to do everything I'd set out to do: half-assing ensures that I feel proud of shitty jobs, have more time to actually get tasks done now that spend less time worrying I'll mess up (if you're half-assing, it's ok to mess up!), and even have time for a latte every now and then. Why didn't I learn to half-ass years ago?!

And as Mrs. Waffles reassured me, my 'half-assing' was probably better than most people's whole-assing. So it's not as though I'm actually doing a poor job, (for those of you co-workers out there who might, by chance, be reading my blog) it's that I've given myself permission to do what it takes to just get things done. I'm forcing myself to not dwell on all the things I think I'm doing wrong. Scary for me, but completely liberating!

So you read this whole blog wondering where the term half-ass actually came from... I would tell you, but I think I'm just gonna go to bed.  Stay tuned for more newly minted phrases and more half-assed blogs.

*Actual names have been changed to protect the innocent.