Ever wonder why some things just don't work out, try as you might? I think one of the hardest things to accept in my life has been knowing that I have bent over backwards to make something work and still, it fails. My inclination when a situation isn't right is to keep pushing harder. But some things just weren't meant to be, and some things just don't come naturally.
I have been a Square Peg in the round world of my job for almost an entire season now. Try as I might - I just don't quite fit. From a distance, sure, it looks like it might work and then you look closely and... nope I'm still square. And I'm not talking about square as in conventional and boring, I'm talking about being the wrong damn shape. Now that I think about it, perhaps I'm more of a trapezoid or a rhombus or perhaps even a diamond... ooh yes those all sound less insulting.
You gotta wonder, why doesn't my job just straighten its corners out a touch? Allow some room for this shining diamond in the rough to make a place for herself? Well, those with round minds continue to think in the same circles they've always been trapped within. To them, trapezoids are terrifying.
I find this comforting in a way - because try as I might I'll never be the Round Peg, nor do I want to be. It doesn't mean I haven't tried to round out my edges a bit, but all in all it's simply not a fit. Putting it like that is so much more matter-of-fact and definitely less painful for a guilty perfectionist such as myself. Perhaps in the end the square and the round can stand side by side with respect and mutual admiration, but since I can't count on that it's time for me to seek a Square/Trapezoid/Rhombus/Diamond-shaped niche for me to nestle within.
